Flowers have long served as a traditional, non-verbal expression of grief, respect, and remembrance at times of loss. These floral tributes offer a tangible way to honor the deceased and provide a measure of comfort to the bereaved family. Understanding the specific terminology and customs surrounding these arrangements can help ensure your gesture is both thoughtful and appropriate for the occasion.
The General Terminology
The most common terms used for flowers following a death are “funeral flowers” and “sympathy flowers,” and they refer to arrangements intended for different locations and purposes. Funeral flowers are the larger, more formal arrangements specifically designed to be displayed at the funeral home, church, or graveside service. These pieces are meant to honor the deceased and serve as decor for the service itself. Sympathy flowers, in contrast, are typically smaller, more personal arrangements or potted plants sent directly to the bereaved family’s private home. The purpose of sympathy flowers is to offer comfort and support to the living family members, often before or after the formal service. A broader term, funeral tributes, encompasses all floral arrangements and plants sent to honor the deceased, including both the large service pieces and the smaller home arrangements.
Common Types of Funeral Arrangements
Funeral arrangements come in distinct physical forms, each with a specific placement and traditional sender. The casket spray is the large, elongated arrangement designed to sit directly on top of the casket, and it is almost always reserved for the immediate family, such as the spouse, children, or parents of the deceased. Standing sprays are large, flat floral designs displayed upright on an easel near the casket or altar, and they are appropriate for close friends, extended family, or groups like colleagues or organizations to send. These arrangements often take the shape of a traditional spray, a circular wreath symbolizing eternal life, or a cross for religious services. Smaller, more portable arrangements like floral baskets or bouquets in vases are common for display at the service, while potted plants offer a lasting alternative that the family can keep long after the service concludes.
Etiquette for Sending Sympathy Flowers
The timing and location of your floral tribute are important considerations for proper etiquette. Funeral flowers should be sent directly to the funeral home or place of service, ideally arriving before the first viewing or visitation to ensure they are displayed appropriately. When sending to the funeral home, it is helpful to include the deceased’s name so the staff can place the arrangement with the correct service. Sympathy flowers or plants, which are smaller and intended for the family’s comfort, should be delivered to the private residence.
While sending sympathy flowers immediately after the loss is thoughtful, it is also appropriate to send them a week or more after the service, offering continued support when the initial rush of visitors has subsided. A brief, heartfelt card message should accompany the flowers, expressing simple condolences like “Thinking of you” or “With deepest sympathy.” A common situation is the request for “in lieu of flowers” donations, which is often included in the obituary. This request should be honored by making a donation to the specified charity or cause instead of sending a large arrangement to the service. However, a small, personal arrangement or a potted plant sent to the family’s home remains an acceptable gesture of personal support.
Symbolism of Flowers and Colors
The choice of flower and color can add a layer of personal meaning to the tribute. Lilies are one of the most traditional funeral flowers, symbolizing the restored innocence of the soul and purity. Roses convey love and respect; white roses denote reverence and innocence, while deep red roses signify profound love and grief. Carnations are valued for their durability and fragrance, with white varieties representing pure love and pink ones often expressing remembrance. The color of the flowers also carries significance, with white being the most common choice, representing peace, reverence, and humility. Pink flowers suggest grace and admiration, while blue flowers can symbolize serenity and calm.