The norm of reciprocity is a fundamental social rule governing human interaction across all cultures. It is the expectation that people will respond to an action from another person with a similar or equivalent action, whether positive or negative. This principle creates a sense of social debt, compelling individuals to engage in a mutual exchange of benefits or harms. The norm functions as a deeply ingrained mechanism for maintaining social stability and cooperation.
The Psychology of Social Obligation
The power of reciprocity stems from an internalized psychological mechanism known as “felt obligation” or “social debt.” When an individual receives a favor, gift, or concession, they immediately experience an internal pressure to repay the giver, regardless of whether they like the person or requested the initial act. This feeling of indebtedness is so strong that it can override personal preferences and self-interest, driving behavior toward repayment.
This compulsion is rooted in the desire to avoid social discomfort and negative labels associated with being perceived as a “free-loader” or ungrateful. The norm is learned through repeated social interaction and is reinforced by societal disapproval directed at those who fail to reciprocate. From an evolutionary perspective, this mechanism helped early human groups cooperate and survive by ensuring that resources and assistance were shared.
Positive and Negative Forms of Reciprocity
The norm of reciprocity expresses itself in two distinct forms: positive and negative. Positive reciprocity involves returning a benefit for a benefit, such as a gift for a gift or a favor for a favor. This form is instrumental in building trust, establishing social capital, and strengthening interpersonal relationships.
For example, waitresses who gave patrons a small piece of candy or a smile received significantly higher tips, demonstrating the immediate effect of a small, positive action triggering a reciprocal reward. The expectation is that the reciprocated action will be approximately equal in value to the initial benefit, maintaining a balance in the social exchange.
Conversely, negative reciprocity is the expectation to return a harmful or negative action with an approximately equal negative action. This is often expressed as retaliation, punishment, or social exclusion. Negative reciprocity serves as the basis for many justice systems and social sanctions, ensuring that individuals who violate social rules or inflict harm are met with a proportionate response. The threat of negative reciprocity acts as a deterrent, helping to regulate behavior and maintain order by punishing non-cooperation.
Reciprocity as a Tool of Influence
The psychological pressure to repay a debt makes the norm of reciprocity an effective tool in persuasion and compliance. Marketers and salespeople frequently leverage this principle by offering small, uninvited gifts or services to create an initial sense of obligation in the recipient. Free samples, free trials, or small gifts from a charity are all designed to trigger the feeling that a return favor—a purchase or donation—is warranted.
One strategic application of this principle is the “Door-in-the-Face” (DITF) technique, a compliance strategy detailed by social psychologist Robert Cialdini. This technique begins with a large, unreasonable request that the target is expected to reject. The requester then immediately follows up with a second, much smaller request, which was the actual goal all along.
The effectiveness of the DITF technique relies on the concept of “reciprocal concession.” By moving from the large request to the small one, the requester appears to have made a compromise. This perceived compromise triggers the norm of reciprocity, obligating the target to concede in return by agreeing to the smaller request. In a classic experiment, people were significantly more likely to agree to chaperone juvenile delinquents for two hours after first refusing a request to volunteer for two years, illustrating the power of this strategic concession.