A funeral wake, also known as a visitation or viewing, is a designated time for family and friends to gather, offer condolences, and pay their respects to the deceased before the formal funeral service. This gathering provides emotional support and a quiet farewell in a setting generally less structured than a funeral. Choosing appropriate clothing demonstrates reverence for the family and the solemnity of the occasion. This guidance is intended to provide respectful parameters for attire, ensuring your focus remains entirely on supporting the bereaved.
Understanding the Level of Formality
The expectation for dress at a wake typically falls within the range of business casual to semi-formal attire, prioritizing a conservative and neat presentation. The core principle is to avoid drawing attention to oneself through clothing choices. The attire should project respect and seriousness, aligning with the environment of mourning.
Garments must be clean, well-maintained, and not distracting in fit or style. Modesty and neatness are the most important considerations, ensuring clothing is neither revealing nor overly fashionable. Selecting comfortable shoes and clothing is practical, as attendees may spend significant time standing or sitting while offering sympathies.
Choosing Appropriate Garments and Accessories
Selecting garments involves choosing structured and subdued pieces. Acceptable options include trousers, knee-length or longer skirts, dresses, collared shirts, and sweaters. For men, a suit or dress pants paired with a collared shirt (with or without a tie) is standard. Women may opt for a pantsuit, a modest dress, or a blouse paired with dress slacks or a skirt.
The fit of all clothing must not be too tight, short, or revealing, as this detracts from the respectful atmosphere. Materials should be matte, not overly shiny, and sheer fabrics or those with noticeable distress should be avoided. Common casual items are inappropriate for a wake.
Inappropriate Attire
Athletic wear
T-shirts
Shorts
Denim jeans
Miniskirts
Accessories must be minimal and unobtrusive. Footwear should be comfortable, closed-toe, and have a low or flat heel, as attendees may be standing for extended periods. Jewelry should be simple and understated, avoiding large, flashy pieces. If outerwear is needed, a simple, dark-colored coat or blazer is appropriate.
Guidelines for Color and Patterns
The general rule for color selection is to favor dark, muted, or neutral tones that reflect the somber nature of the occasion. Black is the most traditional choice, but dark gray, navy blue, charcoal, and deep brown are acceptable alternatives. Dark shades of forest green or deep burgundy are also suitable, provided they are muted and not vibrant.
Bright, neon, or visually loud colors, such as primary reds or yellows, are discouraged as they contrast inappropriately with the mood. While solid colors are the safest approach for patterns, if a pattern is used, it must be subtle and subdued. Fine pinstripes, subtle textures, or a very small, dark geometric design are generally acceptable, but anything large, complex, or involving logos should be avoided.
While dark colors are standard in Western customs, regional or religious exceptions exist, such as white being the customary color of mourning in some Asian cultures. Unless the family specifies a particular color or theme, adhering to a dark, conservative palette is the most universally respectful choice. Your attire should blend into the background, allowing the focus to remain on the family.